Not Every Woman Loves Pink
03 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Breast Cancer Tags: Breast Cancer, breast cancer pink, DCIS, Ductal Carcinoma in Situ, room full of pink, sisterhood of women, take or leave pink, very early stage breast cancer
I can take or leave the colour pink. Mostly before 2009 I ignored it. Red, yes. Pink, no.
I have had dark hair from the day I was born and pink is just not flattering to me. I’d much rather wear and surround myself with dark fuchsia (a black-pink) or violet (a red-purple). There was very little pink in my life until 2009 when I was diagnosed with DCIS (very early stage Breast Cancer) and suddenly kilos of Breast Cancer Pink was all around me.
I was in panic. This pink was bringing out all sorts of emotions in me and it was smothering me (or so it felt to me). I couldn’t escape it even when we went to New York for a holiday after my radiation treatment finished. We arrived there in the middle of their Breast Cancer awareness week. It just wasn’t going to leave me alone until I had dealt with what pink meant to me, what I was afraid of about pink and what pink is here to teach me.
Over the last 2 years, pink are getting along a whole lot better.
When the latest Breast Cancer magazine arrived, I finally sat down to write how I now feel about ‘Breast Cancer Pink’.
This pink is not a nurturing colour to me. The colour says to me – alive and proud to be me. It is not about being soft and invisible but me celebrating being a woman. It is a colour of balance – not too pale and not too dark. To feel comfortable with this pink I had to throw out the urgent and add only what’s really important to me. It is not a passive subdued pink. It’s a lively pink.
This pink is challenging. It is pink en masse. Welcome to the sisterhood of women. It speaks community and letting others help me (a real challenge for me). You are beautiful, Margaret, and not alone. Let other women into your life and embrace them.
And finally, breasts are a team. In the beginning before my operation, drawing on inspiration from another woman, I named my breasts. Annie needed the help and Mitzi was there to support her and me through it all. Breast Cancer Pink to me is the colour of team ‘woman’.
I am part of that team and maybe in 2012 I will feel comfortable enough to walk into a room full of pink. If not, I have put my pink lady ‘Breast Cancer Thriver’ decal on my 2012 diary and I will build up to it step by small step.
One Woman’s Journey through DCIS Breast Cancer
01 Dec 2011 2 Comments
in Breast Cancer Tags: Breast Cancer, Breast Cancer fraud, DCIS, Ductal Carcinoma in Situ, everyday courage, Radiation Therapy, very early stage breast cancer
It is June 2009. The phone rings. ‘Please come back to Breastscreen. You have calcification and we need to re-check it. Don’t feel for lumps. You don’t have any.’ ‘Oh yeah!’ I think. ‘They’re just over-cautious.’
No! I was wrong. I had DCIS. So I am very quickly put on the Breast Cancer roller coaster designed to nip it in the bud and save me.
I read recently that 14,000 Australian women will be diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2010. Of those, 1200 will be diagnosed with DCIS.
DCIS flies under the radar. What is it? It’s Ductal Carcinoma In Situ ie calcification in the milk ducts of the breast. Those 1200 Australian women only find out they have it after their regular mammogram check-up. It’s non-invasive which means it hasn’t got into the body. And no one dies from it. It may be how Breast Cancer starts but the researchers are not 100% sure. You are more at risk of a recurrence later or even full-blown Breast Cancer but with surgery and radiation therapy, this risk is reduced to less than 10%. And you can keep your breast.
There is a lot of breast cancer literature available. Here are some of my personal experiences that might help you or somone you know get through it a little easier.
With a left breast that needed a lot of loving thoughts and tender care, she needed a name. (I adapted this idea from a wonderful speaker, Marie Farrugia, who was on one of my Business Swap CDs.) I called my left breast ‘Annie’ and I still talk gently to her as she continues to heal. Not to be left out, my right breast is ‘Mitzi’ because they are a team and need to support each other.
I found that one of my slightly flattened, soft square cushions kept my hand and lower arm comfortable as I could only sleep on one side of my body. This suited my situation better than the free Breast cushion from Zonta. Wish I’d had that square cushion the first night after the operation.
Short spiky hair and sleeping on one side only don’t mix; so I had to adopt a slightly longer softer hairstyle.
A very soft, real Australian lambswool seatbelt protector has made driving more comfortable for my swollen, tender Annie after surgery, during radiation therapy and still as she continues to heal.
Finding a Blog that related to my love of laughing at life’s idiosyncrasies was daily medicine for my soul.
Also on the funny side, receiving hugs from others became an occupational hazard as I protected Annie from harm. She even demanded that I change my handbag to the other shoulder and this made supermarket shopping sometimes quite funny as Annie & I shared our little problems.
My 30 radiation sessions were re-named Radiation Therapy Healing Sessions and going to them became a blessing not a chore. Annie and I needed to be reminded of that often. When the hospital green radiation gown got to me, I bought brighter material, copied the design and sewed my own version. All these actions were part of becoming an active participant in my healing rather than being a passenger.
On the down side because DCIS is not life threatening, I had days when I felt a Breast Cancer fraud. It was then I learnt to remind myself that all illnesses require courage and everyday courage is as important as big inspiring acts of courage.
With my strong colouring, pink is something I choose to take in very small doses. Everywhere I turned there was a mountain of pink. At times I found that to be emotionally over-whelming. Even going overseas I couldn’t escape Breast Cancer pink. It was just something I had to experience and let it show me my ‘pink’ lesson. (Today I am more comfortable wearing pink and maybe next year I will feel ready to attend one of those ‘pink everywhere’ Breast Cancer events.)
I am blessed to have had wonderful medical care, a loving husband and supportive family, friends, business associates, my non-fiction writers’ group and my special wonderful web women mastermind group. DCIS changed me physically. Now it is important for me to decide how I am going to live the rest of my life.
DCIS – what’s that? On behalf of Annie, Mitzi and me, I hope this may help you or someone you know who finds it unexpectedly in her life.
