For all the ‘Margaret’s’
22 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: Eze, hilltop village, jardin exotique, Le Jardin Exotique, Margaret, Margie, Margot, marguerita
While on our European holiday last year, we visited the town of Eze in France. Eze is a hilltop village above the kingdom of Monaco.
To get to the best view we had to pay to enter Le Jardin Exotique of Eze.
While wandering through the gardens, I found this. I took these photos for me and now I share it with all the Margarets, Margots, Margies, Margueritas and anyone else with a variation of the name ‘Margaret’.
I like the inscription best – ‘Follow me young man and you shall know all my secrets … almost’. I related to it. Someone was very perceptive.
Margarets of the world, is this part of you too?
‘Aleph’ – Book Review
22 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Marg's Book Reviews Tags: Aleph, Aleph Book Review, Paulo Coelho
This book is more an autobiography than the novel I was expecting after having read a number of Paulo Coelho’s other books. For me it came across as an indulgence and was not as thought-provoking as I had hoped it would be. There are some interesting parts. One reminded me that our skills and talents do not always come from something we love. They may be an escape from something we fear.
Unless you are into past loves and past lives, don’t buy it. Borrow it from the library and then decide if you want to own it and re-read it.
Cream Cheese Delight
17 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Recipes Tags: cheese cake without the calories, cream cheese, cream cheese recipe, delicious cream cheese recipe, light dessert, simple dessert, simple dinner party dessert
Cheese Delight (serves 4)
A delicious, simple cream cheese recipe for dessert which is one of my family’s favourites. It also makes a very simple light dinner party dessert. It is the taste and texture of cheese cake without the added calories.
It came from one of Australia’s women’s magazines from many, many years ago.
8 oz cream cheese
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup sugar
drained tin peaches (or fresh strawberries, kiwi fruit or any fruit that appeals to you)
Wine or parfait glasses for serving
Soften cream cheese at room temperature.
Drain the peaches.
Beat cream cheese till soft then add sugar till all mixed.
Add milk gradually & mix. (May need less milk as it won’t work if it’s too runny.)
Slice the peaches into thin slices.
Alternate in your parfait, wine or champagne glasses layers of the cheese mixture, then a few slices of fruit, then repeat again.
Finish with pieces of fruit on top.
Put in the fridge till ready to serve (at least 2 hours or more).
Best eaten with parfait spoon or spoons that will reach the bottom of the glass.
The quantities can be doubled or halved.
You can also experiment with different types of fruit - sliced mangoes, kiwi fruit or your favourite fruit. Fresh is nicer but tinned sliced fruit works just as well.
‘Autumn Bridge’ – Book Review
11 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Marg's Book Reviews Tags: Autumn Bridge, Autumn Bridge Book Review, japan, japan fascination, takashi, Takashi Matsuoka, wisdom
‘Autumn Bridge’ by Takashi Matusoka.
I have re-read this book three times since I first bought it in a discount book shop.
Not sure exactly why I like it and why I keep going back to it. Maybe it appeals to me because I have a fascination for Japan; maybe it’s because there are enough things happening to keep me interested or maybe it’s because I am at an age and stage of life where stories about the development of wisdom resonate with my heart.
I only know that I am glad I found this book and bought it.
Book Review – ‘Lola’s Secret’
09 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Marg's Book Reviews Tags: book review, lola's secret, Monica McInerney
I passed on Xmas chocolates this year and asked my eldest son to buy me ‘Lola’s Secret’ by Monica McInerney instead.
I have read eight of Monica’s previous books and I like them all. ‘Lola’s Secret’ is a gentle story with lots of characters. Every character has secrets; none of them are perfect and most learn they can’t solve their problems without a helping hand. Like life really!
I will keep this book and re-read it whenever I need to relax. It has a bit of wisdom, a bit of humour and is a heart tonic. I can enjoy it over and over again unlike a single box of chocolates.
Not Every Woman Loves Pink
03 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Breast Cancer Tags: Breast Cancer, breast cancer pink, DCIS, Ductal Carcinoma in Situ, room full of pink, sisterhood of women, take or leave pink, very early stage breast cancer
I can take or leave the colour pink. Mostly before 2009 I ignored it. Red, yes. Pink, no.
I have had dark hair from the day I was born and pink is just not flattering to me. I’d much rather wear and surround myself with dark fuchsia (a black-pink) or violet (a red-purple). There was very little pink in my life until 2009 when I was diagnosed with DCIS (very early stage Breast Cancer) and suddenly kilos of Breast Cancer Pink was all around me.
I was in panic. This pink was bringing out all sorts of emotions in me and it was smothering me (or so it felt to me). I couldn’t escape it even when we went to New York for a holiday after my radiation treatment finished. We arrived there in the middle of their Breast Cancer awareness week. It just wasn’t going to leave me alone until I had dealt with what pink meant to me, what I was afraid of about pink and what pink is here to teach me.
Over the last 2 years, pink are getting along a whole lot better.
When the latest Breast Cancer magazine arrived, I finally sat down to write how I now feel about ‘Breast Cancer Pink’.
This pink is not a nurturing colour to me. The colour says to me – alive and proud to be me. It is not about being soft and invisible but me celebrating being a woman. It is a colour of balance – not too pale and not too dark. To feel comfortable with this pink I had to throw out the urgent and add only what’s really important to me. It is not a passive subdued pink. It’s a lively pink.
This pink is challenging. It is pink en masse. Welcome to the sisterhood of women. It speaks community and letting others help me (a real challenge for me). You are beautiful, Margaret, and not alone. Let other women into your life and embrace them.
And finally, breasts are a team. In the beginning before my operation, drawing on inspiration from another woman, I named my breasts. Annie needed the help and Mitzi was there to support her and me through it all. Breast Cancer Pink to me is the colour of team ‘woman’.
I am part of that team and maybe in 2012 I will feel comfortable enough to walk into a room full of pink. If not, I have put my pink lady ‘Breast Cancer Thriver’ decal on my 2012 diary and I will build up to it step by small step.
One Woman’s Journey through DCIS Breast Cancer
01 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in Breast Cancer Tags: Breast Cancer, Breast Cancer fraud, DCIS, Ductal Carcinoma in Situ, everyday courage, Radiation Therapy, very early stage breast cancer
It is June 2009. The phone rings. ‘Please come back to Breastscreen. You have calcification and we need to re-check it. Don’t feel for lumps. You don’t have any.’ ‘Oh yeah!’ I think. ‘They’re just over-cautious.’
No! I was wrong. I had DCIS. So I am very quickly put on the Breast Cancer roller coaster designed to nip it in the bud and save me.
I read recently that 14,000 Australian women will be diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2010. Of those, 1200 will be diagnosed with DCIS.
DCIS flies under the radar. What is it? It’s Ductal Carcinoma In Situ ie calcification in the milk ducts of the breast. Those 1200 Australian women only find out they have it after their regular mammogram check-up. It’s non-invasive which means it hasn’t got into the body. And no one dies from it. It may be how Breast Cancer starts but the researchers are not 100% sure. You are more at risk of a recurrence later or even full-blown Breast Cancer but with surgery and radiation therapy, this risk is reduced to less than 10%. And you can keep your breast.
There is a lot of breast cancer literature available. Here are some of my personal experiences that might help you or somone you know get through it a little easier.
With a left breast that needed a lot of loving thoughts and tender care, she needed a name. (I adapted this idea from a wonderful speaker, Marie Farrugia, who was on one of my Business Swap CDs.) I called my left breast ‘Annie’ and I still talk gently to her as she continues to heal. Not to be left out, my right breast is ‘Mitzi’ because they are a team and need to support each other.
I found that one of my slightly flattened, soft square cushions kept my hand and lower arm comfortable as I could only sleep on one side of my body. This suited my situation better than the free Breast cushion from Zonta. Wish I’d had that square cushion the first night after the operation.
Short spiky hair and sleeping on one side only don’t mix; so I had to adopt a slightly longer softer hairstyle.
A very soft, real Australian lambswool seatbelt protector has made driving more comfortable for my swollen, tender Annie after surgery, during radiation therapy and still as she continues to heal.
Finding a Blog that related to my love of laughing at life’s idiosyncrasies was daily medicine for my soul.
Also on the funny side, receiving hugs from others became an occupational hazard as I protected Annie from harm. She even demanded that I change my handbag to the other shoulder and this made supermarket shopping sometimes quite funny as Annie & I shared our little problems.
My 30 radiation sessions were re-named Radiation Therapy Healing Sessions and going to them became a blessing not a chore. Annie and I needed to be reminded of that often. When the hospital green radiation gown got to me, I bought brighter material, copied the design and sewed my own version. All these actions were part of becoming an active participant in my healing rather than being a passenger.
On the down side because DCIS is not life threatening, I had days when I felt a Breast Cancer fraud. It was then I learnt to remind myself that all illnesses require courage and everyday courage is as important as big inspiring acts of courage.
With my strong colouring, pink is something I choose to take in very small doses. Everywhere I turned there was a mountain of pink. At times I found that to be emotionally over-whelming. Even going overseas I couldn’t escape Breast Cancer pink. It was just something I had to experience and let it show me my ‘pink’ lesson. (Today I am more comfortable wearing pink and maybe next year I will feel ready to attend one of those ‘pink everywhere’ Breast Cancer events.)
I am blessed to have had wonderful medical care, a loving husband and supportive family, friends, business associates, my non-fiction writers’ group and my special wonderful web women mastermind group. DCIS changed me physically. Now it is important for me to decide how I am going to live the rest of my life.
DCIS – what’s that? On behalf of Annie, Mitzi and me, I hope this may help you or someone you know who finds it unexpectedly in her life.
Make peace with your Mum
02 Nov 2011 11 Comments
Sometimes photos lie.
They can tell the truth for one person but the other person may be hiding unresolved emotions.In this photo of me and my mum in 2005 that’s the way it was for me – unresolved anger.
Saturday is the first anniversary of my 90-year old mum’s passing. This is my legacy from her and a plea to you.
Just after this photo was taken, a friend and his sister visited me. I was overwhelmed by the anger she felt that her long-deceased mum had never appreciated her and her talents. It was still consuming
her. On that day I thought ‘I don’t want to be angry at my mum after she dies.’ That started a journey of which I’ll share a little with you.
Zena, Warrior Princess – no more
I have always been the one my mum turned to, to solve her problems. My dad died 50 years ago. Eldest child! Only daughter! Cultural expectations of women! So Zena, Warrior Princess, champion of the world’s downtrodden (my alter ego) was born. Over time at the first few words of my mum’s problem, I would drown out the rest of her words and start mentally solving it my way. It got so that in her later years, I dreaded visiting her in the nursing home. ‘Oh no! what’s going to be wrong today?’ would be my over-riding thought.
A lovely lady showed me how to look at it differently. Maybe mum had solved her own problems and was only giving me her weekly news report. Oh! I was assuming, not listening to all she said. Zena laid down her sword and stopped saving mum and the world. Life became more peaceful as I listened to every word and only stepped in when asked.
They’re Only Words
I will admit to being super-sensitive. I hated mum asking me ‘Why are you so happy?’ I felt she didn’t like me as I am (an optimist) and that I was not allowed to be happy if she wasn’t. What stories we weave around other people’s words.
The same lovely lady asked me to consider that this question was habit, maybe a family phrase from mum’s younger days. They were about her life experiences, not a criticism of me. Oh! I didn’t have to change me to please my mum. When I changed my reaction to that question, I never heard my mum speak those words again. They had taught me the lesson I needed to learn and they left.
Love and Let Love
Like my friend’s sister, I longed for my mum’s appreciation and thanks. I wanted words of appreciation. I never heard them.
I had read a book on how introverts and extroverts act and think differently. It was a talk by Leo Petrik on this topic that triggered the ‘Aha’ moment. Some lessons take longer than others to absorb.
My mum was an introvert and spoken words of praise was not her natural way. She did appreciate and love me – her way not my way. I suddenly realised that the care she took when choosing cards for those who meant the most to her was her way of saying ‘I love and appreciate you’. I’d read her cards to me before. This time I re-read them with love and new eyes.
My mum stayed true to herself. I had changed and become wiser. Our last years together were spent joyously.
My mum died peacefully a year ago. I had no tears of anger or regret. Just loving memories and peace.
Some family traumas are harder to reconcile and need more professional help than I can give. If your relationship with you mum or anyone is about everyday challenges, then I leave you my mum’s legacy in this article.
My anger has gone and I can now look at this photo above with love. It sits where I can see it every day.
Kings Canyon, NT, Australia
31 Oct 2007 Leave a Comment
Last month we had a holiday in Central Australia – Uluru, Kings Canyon and Alice Springs. In this image we are ready for our helicopter ride over Kings Canyon and the surrounding area to the back of it. We also walked the rim and the Garden of Eden. Magnificent. I can also highly recommend the Kangaroo Fillet (medium rare) at the Outback BBQ with a glass of red. It melts in your mouth. I’ve bought the menu home so I can have a go at duplicating it from the menu description. Still looking for a raspberry champagne vinaigrette recipe or close substitute.
First Blog Entry
31 Oct 2007 Leave a Comment
I’m a proud Aussie and this is y second plunge into blogging. I did it about a year ago through Blogger but lost interest after the first entry. it seemed too much trouble in Blogger.
This time Monte Huebsch (the Google Guy) has convinced me that WordPress is easier and more fun. So here I go.
I like mystery novels am a big fan of Jon Cleary, Morris West and Dick Francis. I read for relaxation and pleasure so graphic violence is not my scene.
In the last 3 months I have discovered Janet Evanovich and the Stephanie Plum novels. Crime and mystery with lots of humour and eccentric character. I tried a few Chick Lit novels but women with attitude is more scene.
I also have my own business and you can check it out here – www.myfuturedirection.com.au
